I have a request
One of the most common challenges my clients face is asking for their needs to be met. This shows up at work, with unclear expectations of colleagues or stumbling through salary negotiation conversations. And it shows up in our personal lives, with ambiguous hopes for our romantic partners or unarticulated boundaries with family. It often leads to frustration and resentment.
Getting your needs met requires practice.
As a recovering people pleaser, I have spent a lot of time working to get better at clearly articulating my needs. And I still bumble it sometimes. My partner and I have started a practice of naming our needs by explicitly stating, "I have a request." It might be something simple such as, "I'd like you to wash the dishes after dinner." It could also be something more challenging that requires further conversation like, "I want you to spend more time with my family." It's often awkward to make these requests. And worse, sometimes the answer is not what we want to hear (saying "no" is a whole other newsletter topic). But the practice of getting better at asking for our own needs to be met has helped me and our relationship to grow and flourish.
So dear reader, in the spirit of getting better of asking for my needs to be met, I have a request for you. Please share my practice with one person that may benefit from coaching with me. Perhaps you know someone that's burnt out in their career or is looking to do work that feels more values-aligned. Perhaps someone you care about is in the middle of a major life or career transition. You can introduce them to me, or send them a link to book a free consultation conversation.
Go deeper:
Read: Nonviolent Communications by Marshall Rosenberg
Reflect: This reflection exercise is to support you in making successful requests for your needs to be met. Reflect once every day and ask yourself the following questions. Take brief notes so that you can begin to notice patterns.
What requests did I make today?
How successful were my requests (i.e. did what you requested happen)?
What requests did I avoid making?
What reason did I have for not making the request?
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